


Angry Birds

by CuminSpice



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 14:16:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4103914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuminSpice/pseuds/CuminSpice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mulder and Scully have smartphones. Mulder gets into stupid phone games. Scully is unamused. </p><p>Special thanks to B and S for telling me repeatedly to post this! It's the first thing I've written that I've shared with anyone in over a decade. Be gentle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Angry Birds

10:42PM May 3, 2010 

The Star Wars theme played tinnily right by Scully’s ear. God damn it. Not again. She rolled over, trying to get as far away as she could. She clung to the edge of the bed. Had it become louder? 

“Damn it!” 

Scully covered her head with the pillow, trying to block out the noise. No luck. She smashed the pillow over her ears. That muffled the noise somewhat, but came with the unfortunate side effect of suffocating her. She sighed and relaxed her grip. Maybe it was over. 

“Damn it!” 

Clearly it wasn’t. Pulling the pillow away, she sat up and rolled back to face her bedmate.

“Mulder,” she warned. “If you don’t stop playing that stupid game and go to bed, I will flush that phone down the toilet.” 

“Then the septic will clog and you’ll have to fix it. ‘He who blocks it unclogs it,’” Mulder reminded her of the house rules. 

“Don’t test me. Cleaning a septic tank is preferable to listening to that maddening music.”

“Scully! This music is genius! It’s the voice of a generation!”

“I refuse to have another debate with you over whether the pop orchestral sounds of Star Wars is iconic in the same fashion as Bach’s concertos. Regardless, this is not the Star Wars theme. It’s some generic knock off being played as background music for what is essentially a dopamine rush. Studies have demonstrated that-“ 

“I’m not addicted,” he argued for what seemed like the twentieth time that week. “I just need to win this level, Scully! I’m so close! I’ve been working on it all evening!”

“I can’t believe it. One of the most brilliant minds I’ve ever met, foiled by a children’s game,” she grumbled.

“it’s for adults! It requires skill!” 

“You’re shooting triangular birds at green pigs, Mulder. It’s a children’s game.” 

“Killjoy.”

“Look, I have an all day staff meeting tomorrow and that alone will put me in a bad mood. If you keep me from getting a full night’s sleep –“ 

“Five minutes, Scully. I just need to get past this level.”

“Oh for the love of-“ Grabbing the phone out of his hands, she looked at the setup. Aiming the slingshot, she double-checked her mental calculations and fired. The precariously built structure collapsed, and each pig disappeared in a poof. One. Two. Three. 

“There. Level completed. Go to bed.” She put the phone on the nightstand next to her and settled back under the covers.

Mulder was still propped up against the headboard, staring at her with his jaw half open. “That was so hot,” he whispered. 

“Go to bed, Mulder.” 

“Night, Scully.”

XXX

8:45PM May 5, 2010

“YES! Screw you Level 27! I have conquered you!” Mulder did a little upper body dance, taunting the phone he’d dropped onto the couch next to him. He looked up to see Scully standing in the doorway, watching him with some combination of amusement and pity. 

“I beat Level 27,” he explained triumphantly. 

“My hero,” she said flatly. “Was that the last level?”

“Scully! There are INFINITE levels. Now I need to make Level 28 my bitch.”

“Based on how many hours you’ve spent on this stupid game, I’d say you are its bitch. Can I see?” She wiped her hands on the dishrag and held out her hand. He handed the phone over so she could see the three stars proudly displayed on the screen. 

“Only needed to use 3 birds,” he said proudly.

She hit the ‘replay’ button and after a quick inspection, pulled the slingshot back and destroyed the structure, which blew up the box of TNT, which made those three little pigs cry wee-wee-wee all the way home. “You need to take the vegetable scraps to the compost bin before coming upstairs,” she said as she handed him the phone back.

Mulder looked down at the phone in shock – “NEW HIGH SCORE” the screen taunted him – before looking back up as she climbed the stairs to bed.


End file.
